Portly the Porpoise©

No, he's is NOT a dolphin. No, he's not fat. He's just Portly the porpoise with a purpose - to make sure that everyone knows his cousins - cute and lovable dolphins who get all of the attention - are actually a real pain the neck! Portly will do whatever he can to prove that dolphins aren't as cute as you think and porpoises aren't fat! Before that, Portly has a snack to eat first, then he'll get started taking down those dolphins a few pegs. Let's eat.